As I continued to see my news feeds flooded with posts and comments about the recent decision to legalize same-sex marriage, I cry. I have no doubt that my tears are tears of joy. However, they’re also tears of sorrow. So, I’ve coined the terms “joyrow” as a mixture. Now, don’t take me the wrong way. I’m not in the least sorrowful about the decision. I’m purely joyful about that.
What I do find sad is that reactions of so many people. I’m sad for people claiming they’re going to light themselves on fire because of it, but I’m even sadder for the people calling them out on it and begging them to actually do it. I’m sad for the people who say they are going to get divorced because of this ruling, but I’m even more upset about the people who are contacting them asking when it’s going to happen.
Ya see I’m sad because of the hate. And, I’ll be honest, it flows from both sides. I feel like everyone is losing. Yes, we have legalized same-sex marriage. But we also have people attacking others (that they don’t even know) because they stand in opposition to it. Both parties lose in that scenario. Honestly, sometimes people just don’t know any better.
And that’s where grace and understanding come in. I love the song, “Losing” by Tenth Avenue North.
Oh, Father won’t you forgive them, they don’t know what they’ve been doing. Oh, Father give me grace to forgive them, cause I feel like the one losing.
How true of this today. The people opposing same-sex marriage honestly just don’t know what they’re doing. They think they’re doing what’s right. They’re doing what they’ve always been taught. But if we continue to ridicule them, and ask them to fulfill their statements (are we really asking them to kill themselves? really guys?) we’re losing. There’s nothing to be one from that.
Yes, I believe they’re in the wrong. Yes, I believe that love is love and equality are equality. Yes, I believe that people crying their religious freedom are being hindered are mistaken. But they just don’t know any better. Calling them crazy; calling them bigots; telling them they’re on the wrong side of history; none of this is going to do anything. We’re just losing right along with them.
Only when we recognize that they don’t know what they’re doing and that we’re being dragged down with them by the way we’ve been engaging with them, can we truly win? Only when we can say, “Listen. I understand what you’re saying. And I love you. But you’re wrong,” and lay out, lovingly, why they’re wrong will we have any wins.
No, they won’t listen to us. But they also will have a better understanding and picture of us. They see us as people fighting for something we don’t deserve. They see us as degenerates- as falling from God. Only when we show them, through love, not hate, that we are not such things will their hearts and eyes potentially be opened. It might not happen still, and that’s okay. There will always be people who want to believe what they want to believe. Eventually, we need to dust off our sandals and leave their presence. They’re going to continue in their ways, and nothing will change that.
We have a choice to show those who hate (or even just dislike) the same-sex marriage decision either hate or love. I’ve seen a lot of love toward supporters and mostly hate toward opposers. As long as we continue in this way, we haven’t “won” anything. So yes, I’m crying tears of joy today. But I’m also crying tears of sorrow for all the hate I’m seeing everywhere.
