I Read Milo What’s-His-Face’s Book so You Don’t Have To

Ok, so I only made it halfway through the book. I know many of you are wondering why I even bothered to read it. I knew I wouldn’t like it. I knew I wouldn’t agree with it. What started as reading the editors comments turned into reading the book simply so I could laugh at exactly what the editor was commenting on. Plus it was free, and it allowed me to write a book brief roasting discussing it. 

But I only made it halfway through. I looked past him calling all media that wasn’t Breitbart or Breitbart-esque bad. [note]Milo Yiannopoulos, Dangerous (Self-Published, 2017), 112-134.[/note] I resisted the urge to throw my phone when he said he wasn’t racist because he loved black people because he’s “…lost count of the number of black youths I’ve lifted out of poverty. Admittedly, I send them back the next day in an Uber-Lux.” [note]Ibid, 39.[/note] I clenched my teeth when he stated multiple times that Muslims are inherently dangerous, specifically to women. [note]Ibid, 66, 88, 90.[/note] I rolled my eyes every time he insisted that feminists are fat, unable to get laid, ugly, or fag-hags. [note]Ibid 68, 70, 73, 77, 88, 90.[/note]

I almost screamed when he downplayed rape and consent, including horrible jokes like- “Rape is terrible. Well, I assume it’s terrible for most people. Personally, I’ve never gotten off faster than when I’ve had a gun to my temple. My boyfriend will tell you I can’t even get hard these days without a knife to my throat. That’s just me though.” [note]Ibid, 81.[/note] Or needing to be thrown in jail to “get a decent hatefuck without having a consent form and mandatory safety word.” [note]Ibid 82.[/note] among others. [note]Ibid, 34, 80, 81, 89.[/note]

I laughed at his ignorance when he stated the wage gap was imaginary, or even due to women choosing different careers than men.[note]Ibid, 76, 82.[/note Or that no major inventions or anything of importance have come from a woman.[note]Ibid, 78.[/note] I raised my eyebrow in confusion and frustration at his insistence on using Lesbian as a slur, considering his own homosexuality. [note]Ibid, 70, 73.[/note] I chucked when he called fake news a myth only a few pages after he retold a story ripped from fake news headlines. [note]Ibid, 20, 54.[/note]

And I was confused when he argued that social media sites shouldn’t have a list of pre-determined “quality” sources like New York Times, CNN,  or Fox, and then use mostly Breitbart as a source for his own book. [note]Ibid, 49.[/note] It appears having a particular bias is ok only if it’s his.

I looked past him calling gay marriage a “trivial issue”. [note]Ibid, 21.[/note] I still don’t understand what happened between him and Leslie Jones on Twitter because instead of telling the entire Ghostbusters story and allowing us to make up our minds, he highlights what happened to him in response and glosses over what he did in the first place. [note]Ibid, 12-14.[/note] I did a spit take when he stated that musicians, actors, and writers love him, “but only in private, because they fear reprisals,” with no evidence to back it up. [note]Ibid, 8.[/note]

I was even able to continue past his constant self-aggrandizing, unfunny jokes, and reminders that he is indeed very humble. And I did laugh that his editor crossed out a good bit. And I do have to say, his editor did a good job of calling out and removing a lot of what is referenced above. (Which would explain why the publishing company deemed the work “unpublishable”.) But what ended my journey into the mind of the dark side was when he started to discuss why the queer community hates him. (He called it “Why Other Gay People Hate Me”.)

He stated- “I became a homo.”[note]Ibid, 137.[/note] And then proceeded to argue that homosexuality is unnatural based on the words of Camille Paglia, who is not a scientist. [note]Ibid, 138.[/note] Milo views homosexuality as a choice to go against the mainstream. Even degenerate. This stands in contrast to the lives of countless queer individuals who have prayed and tried to change their sexuality to no avail. This ignores the torture many have faced at the hands of conversion therapy, again, to no avail. This downplays the lives taken by queer youth because they can’t take being bullied any longer.

Milo, if you ever read this let’s get one thing clear- nobody ever chooses to be gay. I don’t care how transgressive and degenerate you think it is, or how “cool” you think it makes you to be one of those things. Generations past, and even our current world, have made life hell for queer individuals to the point that nobody would choose it. 

I’m not sure when you think you chose to become a homo, as you put it, but I imagine it was around the time you realized you were more stimulated by men than women. That isn’t your choice, that is your body’s chemicals working together to create arousal in you. Something that came with you out of your mother’s womb. No amount of rationalizing or changing how you word things will change that. If you can’t understand something as basic as how attraction works, then I can’t trust anything else you have to say (not that I did anyway). 

This book, and probably Milo’s whole career, should heed the frequent words of the editor-

Gratititous
Unfunny
Unclear
DELETE